A Good Life

“The human heart has an almost unlimited ability to bounce back from spiritually destructive experiences. Some deep part of us, the soul you could call it, fights not just for life, but for a good life, and a just one.”  – Lundy Bancroft

My journey into single parent-dom has in many ways, been my journey to “bounce back.”  I’ve been in passionate pursuit of healing from a destructive relationship and it has taken years to untangle the truth from lies and find meaning in the experience.

Is my healing complete?

I would say no.  Not complete.

But, I feel in many ways – I’m almost there.  I have made my peace with all aspects of it.  And, finally reached a plateau where I can feel that “it is okay.”  I am “okay” with everything that happened, and resolved to use it all for good in my life and the lives of my children.

There IS a deep part of us – our soul – that fights for life, a good life and a just one.  I want to offer hope to anyone who is in, or has come out of, an abusive relationship.

Give yourself a chance for a good life … and a just one.  Despite all that you may have been through, I want you to know that you are MORE than this experience – or ANY experience.   You are MORE than the hurt.  You are more than the sadness.  The  confusion.  The regret.  Or the damaged emotions you may have.  These things are NOT your identity.

You are also the person who found the courage to leave.  You are also the person who protected your children in the small everyday ways you did.  You are also the person who believed in the power of love.  You are also the person who has helped a friend.  You are also the person who has specific talents and abilities that are unique to you (and I want you to know what those are!).  You are also the person who has hopes for a better future for you and your children.  You are all of these things and more.  Don’t stay stuck in what someone has done to you – give yourself a chance to have a good life and a just life by focusing and embracing ALL of who YOU are.

Reach into that deep part of yourself that instinctively fights for your good life.  Align yourself with it … get behind it 100%.  Make this your intention.  And, remember that day by day, in every way, you’re getting better and better.

Most definitely. 😉


Breakfast in bed

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.  ~Chinese Proverb

This past week was so busy.  I kept telling myself and those around me that if I could just get to Sunday, I could rest.  I had given myself that day to simply rest and rejuvenate.  No work.  No business.  No school.  Just me and the children – my little M&Ms.

Self-care is very important to me.  I love being a mother.  I love the opportunity to further my education and learn, learn, learn.  I love building my business.  I am grateful for my part time work to supplement my income for this season.

BUT …

I also value taking care of myself.  So, “me time” is always a huge priority for me.  Some days and weeks are harder than others to squeeze it in.  This past week was one of ’em.  And, I think I was pretty vocal about my desire for self-care and me time.  And, alas … Sunday morning had arrived.

My M&Ms get up before me sometimes and play or watch cartoons on the weekends.  This Sunday was no different.  As I was getting up out of bed, I hear my daughter’s voice coming from the stairs, “No, Mama – don’t get up yet!”

“Why not?”

Just then I see her tenaciously walking down the hall way to my room carefully carrying a mug in one hand and a bowl filled with something in the other.  “I made you breakfast!”  she beamed.

I beamed back, “You did?!”

I was so delighted!  She prepared a cup of coffee for me (I drink instant and warm the water in the microwave) along with a bowl of cereal.  It was the sweetest thing – to be served breakfast in bed by my sweet little moxie girl.  My heart felt like it was 10x its normal size.  How very special I felt.

I kissed and hugged and slobbered all over her.  I do believe I will remember that morning forever.

… I love being a mother.  =)

How have your children’s thoughtful and surprising gestures warmed your heart?


Burn, baby burn.

Passion is the flame that burns white-hot.

-Zig Ziglar

I just wanted to record an update about my first event for my business.  In so many ways, it felt like a smashing success!  I was surrounded by friends and their friends and sharing a message from the heart on “Nurturing Passions into Careers.”  I felt all of the women in the room were with me in agreement when I shared that we, as women, tend to put ourselves LAST so often.  We are such wonderful, fantastic creatures – we give, we serve, we love … others.  We often forget about ourselves.

That was one of my major points in the presentation.  And, one of my major themes in my business.  I think it’s wonderful that women have such giving natures.  I know that in a sense, we absolutely thrive on being able to self-sacrifice.  However, I don’t want it to be to our detriment.  I want to see women come alive with their passions and then serve others out of that position of strength.

In any case – it was a night of great energy and a personal time for me to also thank my friends and support group for their constant presence and loving kindness as I try strive and stretch for things just out of my reach.  Our passions in life burn white-hot.  My white-hot burning is about helping women live passionate lives, especially single moms.  It feels great to be doing it.

I’ll admit, I’m pretty exhausted from this week.  A few too many balls in the air to juggle.  But, I am taking time for self-care and to replenish myself.  And, then – it’s back to it!!

Burn, baby burn. 🙂

What are some of your passions?


Reflections.

It takes great courage to see the world in its tainted glory and still love it.    – Oscar Wilde

Since I’ve launched my website and started my blog, I’ve often reflected on my own single mom journey up until today.  I’ve been divorced for nearly 6 years now.  It seems to have gone by so very fast.  Interesting enough – I also was married for 6 yrs, and THOSE years felt like a lifetime to me then …

I have gone through a lot of phases and stages with my single parent world.  There was a season when I was looking to be “rescued” by my next prince.

That didn’t work.

Then, there was a season when I was a bit wild and crazy – getting in touch with parts of myself that most people do in their 20’s.

That left me exhausted.

Then, through reading other single moms stories, through building community with single moms in my area, and trying to get real about who I really am and what I really want out of life … I fell into acceptance that my single parent world could be beautiful by being me, pursuing what’s important to me and staying in loving connection with my children.  With or without prince charming. 😉

Now, don’t get me wrong … I look forward to one day meeting a romantic someone who will be a wonderful addition to my life and the lives of my children … but, I’m happy to wait until that worthy someone shows up.  I’m open.  =)  Just not on the prowl anymore!

Finally, the “single” in “single mom” is okay … and, maybe it’s even more than that – though sometimes it is tainted and without glory, I think I may have found the courage to say … it is my life and it can be beautiful.

What have some of your journey’s been like adjusting to single mom-dom?


Stretching my tent posts.

“Think less about approaching death and more about approaching life.”  – Alan Cohen

I am “skerred”.

I am making preparations for my first official “Passionate Life Solutions” event.  It is a presentation on Nurturing Your Passions into Careers.

It’s exciting, but – anytime we stretch ourselves or require more of ourselves, it can feel really scary.  It is unknown territory.  We are unsure of the outcome.  And, I am feeling all of these things.

I admit there are still parts of me that sometimes struggle with self-worth regarding my ability to make a valuable contribution to the lives of others.  My ability to run my own business.  My ability to balance everything.  But, then I ask myself this question: What makes me any LESS or any MORE worthy than someone else out there?

The facts are … yes, I sometimes feel inadequate.  But, I also know how hard I’ve worked and the ways I’ve invested in myself and the impact I’ve been able to have on others up until this point.

So, my answer to the question of worthiness is this:

I believe we are who WE say WE ARE.

Agree or disagree? =)


Hello world!

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
Maya Angelou

I love Maya Angelou.  She is incredibly inspiring.  She is also an individual who has suffered much.  Through her heartache and difficulties she has learned how to rise, how to thrive and not just merely survive.

My name is Kris Andrews.  I am a sassy single mom 😉 and this is the essence of my blog.  I hope to inspire other single mom’s who have come out of abusive and damaging relationships to THRIVE with passion, compassion, humor and style.  And, I know I cannot do it alone.  We must do it together.  So, I hope that as I share my journey, insights and experiences – you will do the same through your comments.  I would like to create a community of women – a sisterhood – where we learn from one another and reach our God given potential.

My vision is to post tips, resources and thoughts on healing from abuse, single parenting, dating as a single parent, and pursuing a life of purpose while juggling it all with self-love and gentle self-care.

Here’s to stepping into our passion, compassion, humor and style!

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